War, Integrity, and Conflicted Values
On Friday we stood on the doorstep of war and kicked in the door. Since then there has been no shortage of behavior that we can learn a lot from, and I want to explore it today.
I typically reserve the space in these newsletters for discussions about business, money, mindset, and personal development. But it’s a volatile time in the world and in the US, so I think it’s important to talk about it. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
There are three main points I want to emphasize and dig into…
In an attempt to simplify an incredibly complex world, we try to assign black and white clarity to endless shades of grey. Nothing is as simple as it seems
Our actions speak far louder than our words (something that political posturing makes apparent almost every single day)
The best way to impart positive change (I believe) is to operate with integrity & perspective
Living in Shades of Grey
No, I’m not talking about the book.
You and I both know that everything is hyper-politicized. And the prospect of war brings that out even more.
It’s easy to default to the extremes - if you support bombing Iran you’re a war mongering MAGA Trumper, and if you’re against bombing Iran you’re an anti-American leftist.
Reality is much more difficult and complex, and even the underlying beliefs between people who agree with one another are often dramatically different.
And…this one is a shocker…you can even hold two conflicting beliefs.
For example…
I think a nuclear armed Iran is a bad thing, but I don’t agree with our decision to bomb them
I support Israel, but I think they’ve done some pretty bad shit in Gaza
None of these issues occur in a vacuum, no matter what TikTok says…they’re all infinitely complex. But the challenge is that lazy groupthink makes people oversimplify.
One side will see the two comments I made and because I don’t agree with what we did they’ll say “you’re just a leftist commie and part of what’s wrong with America”. Another side will see the “I support Israel” statement and say “you’re just another Trump loving MAGA-ist stuck under the spell of Israel.”
In reality it comes back to values and principles…we make decisions based on that which we hold dear, and when those principles & values are in conflict we prioritize.
In a hyper-politicized world, most people assign the meaning for a belief or action simply to a political party and/or political leader. There seems to be an astonishing belief that every decision or belief is viewed through the lens of “What would does my allegiance to Democrats/Republicans/Trump say I should do?”
(And while it feels astonishing, but it’s made more frustrating by the fact that that’s truly how many people do make decisions.)
This is where the next part comes in.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Like it or not, our values exist in a hierarchy of sorts. On one end are our personal values, ideals, & beliefs. On the other are the groups or individuals who we believe represent those values & beliefs: particularly our church, our political party, and the leaders we look up to.
I’ve found that our values may evolve as we learn more about ourselves, but they’re usually directionally accurate and not typically subject to massive changes.
Our beliefs and ideals also evolve as we learn more about the world around us…my experience in the Army, traveling the world, losing my parents, building a family, and running multiple businesses (among other things) has led to an evolution of my beliefs and ideals over the past 10-15 years.
But political parties, religious organizations, political leaders, and any other groups? They’re effectively marketing engines trying to convert as many people as possible to their side as possible. Most sway with the wine if it’ll capture your attention and vote, although the “good” ones are ideologically consistent.
(I’ve never aligned with Bernie Sanders politically, but I have to respect him. He’s been preaching the same exact message for as long as I’ve known his name and hasn’t wavered in his beliefs based on who’s in office or what’s socially popular.)
As a college student I was strongly conservative and agreed with the underlying beliefs of limited government, personal liberty, and fiscal responsibility. But I never understood the absolutism and ideological purity that so many demanded on either side of the aisle.
I’d rather have slow, meaningful progress than useless absolutism wrapped in obnoxious virtue signalling every day of the week. And this is where actions truly speak louder than words.
I remember watching the Tea Party protests in college and seeing a fascinating, relatively grassroots movement (at least until it got hijacked by assholes) come together to speak out against excessive government activity and overreach.
Now under the same “conservative” label, many of those same people support unilateral action and unchecked executive power as long as it’s in the hands of their guy. They storm the US Capitol with joy but label protests and movements rooted in limited government principles (like the Tea Party was) as un-American and even dare to call it insurrection. And they do so while still wrapping themselves in a flag that they don’t even begin to understand, oblivious to their hypocrisy (or they just don’t give a shit). That’s not how this fucking works.
Your values, your beliefs, and your ideals are what influence your actions. They influence the people you follow, the causes you support, and the groups you associate with. Not the other way around.
When your values are for sale for a vote, or when they change based on the little D or R next to someone’s name, that speaks louder than anything. Your actions show you don’t truly have values, you have beliefs of convenience.
Speaking of actions vs. words, let’s also point out Democratic leadership. Right now they’re saying the right words they’re supposed to say…they’re angry, most think the bombing was unjustified, and they think action without congressional approval was wrong…but what are their actions saying?
They found the bombings from Friday night so reprehensible that they called an emergency meeting to get intelligence briefs…on Tuesday.
War & a “constitutional crisis”…nothing that can’t wait 72+ hours am I right?
Integrity and Perspective
Let me get back off the soapbox for a minute and bring this to a point with Ted Lasso…
”Be curious, not judgmental.”
Curiosity means asking questions. Seeing things from multiple perspectives. Defaulting back to principles rather than political or social allegiance.
For me, this is what it means in action…
Recognizing the constant saber rattling of Israel, particularly about an Iranian nuclear bomb, but also trying to understand the existential fear of a small country surrounded by enemies who want to destroy them
Recognizing that Iran is a pretty definitively a bad actor and has done some bad shit, but also thinking they bombing & going to war with them is a mistake
It’s ok to be conflicted, the world is an infinitely complex place. It’s even ok to change your mind. I just beg of you to make sure it’s rooted in understanding, principles, values, and beliefs. Not simply in allegiance.
My hope is that more and more people will act with a little curiosity and perspective, and more than anything that they’ll operate with more integrity.
In this case, integrity means consistency - consistency in the principles and values you hold, and consistency between those principles and our words, and our & actions.
We don’t have great role models of this currently…we have leaders throughout our national security organizations who were selected for their loyalty to the president, which they alarmingly seem to conflate with loyalty to the Constitution.
That doesn’t mean you and I have to do the same.
So I hope as individuals we can maintain that integrity and consistency. That we can take a moment to pause before blindly supporting “our side” and first go back to principles and values.
Patrick
